A thing I have been doing for way too long in my life is trying to ignore my natural personality. In fact when I was younger I took this one step further and actively tried to change it. The one thing I will say, is that I wouldn’t recommended this to anyone, it’s not healthy. I tried to force myself to be more outgoing (which in itself is not a bad thing) but I was also trying to change my personality to be extroverted and this simply wasn’t possible. On most occasions this just lead to me drinking too much to mask my insecurities or losing jobs I wasn’t really suited for in the first place. Growing up in a Western society I struggled in particular, because our society is not readily accepting of people who are shy and have introverted personalities. I do feel for people similar to myself who grew up in the US of A in particular!
I believe I reached a point in the past when I accepted my natural way and I didn’t go out nearly as much. It is true that I didn’t really belong in the old town that I was born in. I identified that I wasn’t on the path I wanted to be on so I began to stay in more..analyzing. I read, I exercised, I searched for ways that I could better myself and I was looking for a different way; as the saying goes, the stupidest thing you can do in life is to keep doing the same thing and expect to get different results.
Although I have a tendency to isolate myself too much, I believe I was more than likely on the right path at that point if I had stuck with it, the mistake I made was to get lead back off that path, and that was most probably by people with the best intentions. As a result of not following through on my own convictions however I ended up back in the same places, doing the same old things, draining my energy. Your mind can play tricks on you, when I lost confidence I forgot all about my introversion and I began to question amongst the dissenting voices as to why I stayed in so much, was I just wasting my time? This is why both learning and then continuing to reinforce positive mental health is so important.
You might have similar problems simply because of the natural way that you are. Instead of trying to change our nature, being naturally introverted we need to play to our strengths and minimize our weaknesses. Other people often won’t understand such behaviour and may mock you and see you as an outcast or a loser. Some people will probably resent you for not wanting to spend enough time with them. The fact of the matter is, time alone, or one-on-one time is what is stimulating and productive to an introvert as time in a group or crowd is to an extrovert. In reality you know the right path for yourself and you are strong enough not to simply follow the flock; this is strength in itself. It is so vitally important to believe in yourself! If you are thinking clearly and logically with positivity then do it your way.
I feel as though I am back on the right path now and no matter what age you are in life you can get back on your right path also and stay on it! At times people may make the odd remark about ‘just how uninteresting my life is’ and the fact is that I simply don’t care. Their disinterest and what they would find boring is my energy and my escape. A big benefit of being an introvert is being able to recharge our batteries at home alone so at least that helps save some money at the very least :D.